The Exception to the Rule

A few blogs ago I wrote about the natural progression of things. Go to school, get married, have babies. We're tuned to take the given next step in life. Personally, I choose to completely ignore this "intuition". I really can't picture myself married and having children. Not to say that I have NEVER wanted these things. At one point in my life I wanted a dozen kids. Literally. But that was years ago, and I've grown out of it.

I'm going to be that woman at my friends 50th anniversary party whose hitting on my friends grown children. I'll be the old woman with my hair and make up all done up with the dress that shows my cleavage (I'll get lifts by then). The one going out to bars, still trying to get the guys to buy me drinks. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

Who knows, I may eventually want to get married and have kids. But still, I can never imagine myself settling down. I enjoy living my life as if I could just pick up and leave tomorrow. Which in all reality I could.

Why I'm Still Single

Lately, it's come up several times in casual conversation. 'And this is why I'm still single'. Sure, it may be that I've just never been single before and I'm trying it out. It may just be that I haven't met anyone that will hold my interest enough for me to consider them my boyfriend. I just think it's a summation of quite a few things.

1. I'm pretty sure I'm a college boy in an attractive female body. Dangerous combo. (Not to say I'm a transsexual or anything, just think more like a male as far as... well most things).

2. I collect Corvette matchbox cars and daggers. Both of which are displayed in my house.

3. I go to the gym to work out, and to check out the scenery (if you catch my drift).

4. A nice car or truck (I'm talking American muscle) will make me turn my head just as much as a hot guy. A hot guy driving a nice car... well I might as well have a huge visible erection.

5. A night sitting at home watching Rambo or Full Metal Jacket and drinking beer is a very good night.

6. I will very blatantly tell you if I got laid AND if it was any good. No shame.

7. I'm not a damsel in distress. I DO NOT ask for help. I DO NOT need help. I can do it all by myself.

8. Like above, I do not want to be taken care of. I do not want to be spoiled. I'm an able minded individual thank-you-very-much.

9. A guy needs to be able to hold my interest. This is not done by doing the same thing over and over again (this includes both dates and sex. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.)

10. Guys are just intimidated by my awesomeness. Full of myself? Maybe. Oh well, deal with it.

So if you think you can handle all this, then why not give me a try. Ha, I should post this on plentyoffish.com!

**love always**
Jen

mela ilyamenie

Have you ever thrown something away to later realize that you miss it? Was this thing a person? If so, then you know that life isn't like a movie. Things don't always happen for a reason and once you give something up you may never get it back. I know this all too well.

I always knew my life wasn't going to be like a movie. It turned out to be more like a soap opera. Girl meets Boy. They fall in love, timing is wrong. Life goes on. Girl meets Boy again, fall in love again. BUT Boy meets other girl. Boy and Girl separate. Girl reluctantly meets other boy. Girl loses Boy forever. Maybe written out it reads like a movie. but there is no happy ending. There is no epiphany when Girl realizes that Boy was never hers in the first place and she just loved the idea of it. Instead it's a romantic tragedy.

Truth is, I had something and I lost it. Maybe I didn't fight hard enough, maybe I just gave up. Either way I can never get it back. But I can learn from it. I can remember that if you love something never, ever let it go because if you do it may never come back.

Dannen le
A ú-erin le regi
Rang ail le iestannen
Lû ail le tegin na hen.
Gwannach o innen ului
Ú lû erui, ului.

**Love always**
Jen

Look at me, oh look at me... Is this the way I'll always be?

Life is about change. Evolution, as I prefer to call it. You grow, physically, mentally, emotionally, through your personal experiences. You adapt to your surroundings, your situations. Well, most of us do anyway. There are those people who just sit and wait , expect everything to come to them on a silver platter. Perhaps they are afraid of change. Maybe they just really like where they are. Either way these people aren't growing.

I'm not the same person I was a year ago. Hell, I've even changed since a month ago, I'm sure. And I will continue to change until the day that I die. Will all of this change be positive? Probably not. But the point is, I will continue to evolve as a person. I have been in situations where my growth has been halted. I evolved all right, just not in the right direction. Instead of becoming happy and ... settled, I became bitter and spiteful.

Although I think I am a great place right now, and I can't remember being happier with myself I am still going to evolve. And for better or for worse, I'm not going to be the same person as I am today next month. And neither should you.